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been stressing out so much lately and its July already?! didnt know stress took time away. will, actually it does especially when you're pulling every part of your hair off just to finish one small assignment which can take your whole life up and only cost 10% at the end of the day. Bless our poor minds. hahaah.

so July? half a year have passed. and what have I done? errrrrr... seriously i feel like i've been hibernating till today. i dont even know what i've done, nothing important actually. which makes it even worst to think that i have yet just wasted half of my year just, rotting away. Bravo!

but college have taken my life up. and also not to forget my parents. they are being all uptight now due to my horrible results last semester. you know how you're all relax and chill during your first semester, cause you have no idea what is going to happen and you still have that high school mind set built it. thus, for me to end up slacking a whole lot during my first semester which leads me to a huge hole of regretion. hah! and there, my parents obviously very chill bout it, so they now demand me to be home when i can and study at least an hour or two in front of them. talk bout primary school all over again? haihh.

will enough of complaining, cause i just need to suck this up and get my grades and cgap up back if not ill just end up at the rubbish dump smelling fish bones and dog poo :(



so last friday.. afternoon. Emelia and Daniel brought me and Joe over to Saujana Resort Club House for a swim and just to chill and catch up after a week of headaches and overloaded stress. the place kinda reminded me alot of Sarawak Club House back in Kuching, really made me miss being in Kuching.

US people camwhoring, cause we had the pool all to ourselves! 

talk about "Like a boss!" :D

sorry for the horrible quality of pictures. its all taken from instagram and horrible front quality camera which is still better than anything. considering most of us now do not carry around a camera anymore because smartphones are like a 2 in 1 thingy bulit in.

sooooo, after swimming for an hour or so, we got up. had a little snack which we brought ourselves. you know how swimming makes you all hungry even if you dont swim much but soak yourself in the pool, it takes up a whole lot of energy in one person. so our tummy were all growling for foood. luckily i brought my mama's noodels which she prepared for me for lunch. free food ftw! hah!

and then we went back in the water for another hour just to appreciate the awesome scenery which we dont always get back at home unless you have a pool in your backyard with coconut trees and the scorching hot sun shinning on the back of your bikini body.

obviously we needed pictures before we leave :)

and again with the pretty bad quality picture, the guy that helped us take this had shaky hands so mind him and we didnt want to take up much of his time to keep retaking our picture for us. so it was all good. 

and not to mention, Instagram has definitely become a while part of my life. without it yesterday it was as iif part of my body could not function. it has been such a habit to wake up and just click on the instagram button even if there isnt anything interesting on, I'd still scroll till the very end of it. dont tell me I'm the only one like this? without it, i couldnt share so much. a whole day of pictures not updated in my insta, really got me frustrated but luckily last night before i slept it worked again. so way to go to whoever that fix the problem that they were having! :)

tired

You know that feeling when you're surrounded by a million beings around you but yet you still feel like you're the only person in the room. the feeling of being all alone even when you know there are people around, the feeling of just desperately needing a friend there. 

sometimes i just wish I need not think how am i gonna pass my day alone. im so tired of all this bullshit. and now, i sound like a lonely donkey. which sounds real saddening. will, what im trying to say is, ( obviously not saying i dont have friends) just that sometimes people move on, people change, people find someone/something else better, people have their own life. its all a change. 

im starting to hate the word change. I take that word as a curse. things change, whether its good or bad IT JUST CHANGES. and nothing can be the same as it is in the beginning, where smiles and laughter that was all that matters. things change all the time, people change. 

with all this changes going on, nothing stays constant anymore. nothing can just stay how it is, but change. it you have to cope with it, all over again. back to square one. back to the beginning, finding high and low for that happiness back.

and i admit myself, that i personally find it hard to communicate and get engage with people. i cant just engage with just anybody. but just to certain people. sometimes i really do wonder, do i have a face problem? or do i talk/act weirdly? or maybe do i have bad breath?! (joke) i find people not daring to approach me, like i've got a disease or there's this "no entry sign on my forehead. and when i do try making a conversation with a person, they either reply uninterested or just ditch me halfway through. ( sad isnt it?) at least i try... and trying seems to not be enough nowadays. 

and sometimes, i really do envy bunch of girls just hanging out by the mall or just anywhere. all those pictures they take together as a group or just those laughter you hear when you walk pass starbucks. 

gosh, dont i just sound like a sad donkey now? :) 

just ranting on how i am currently feeling. been really down lately, wth so much happenings going on, so much dramas, so much family issues. someone just shoot me already? xx

hair

one week passed. have been working hell a lot lately. been in cotton on kids almost everyday till now i'm kinda tired of stepping foot in pyramid. but the thought of not being broke for the next month, just makes it all worth itt. so just gonna bare with it, if not i wouldnt' have anything productive to fill my holiday either.

whats new? :)
will, got my fringe cut

From this.....

TO

this...

yeap babehhh, backt to good old bangs :) to my sister, i look like my 16 year old self again. which in other ords, much younger? hah! but this is just for fun, temporary change. i cant seem to find any other suitable hairstyle for myself. I'd rather not cut my back hair for now since I've grown it for 1 and a half years to be this prefect. any suggestions in other hair do? except cutting? but my hair is now terribly damaged due to too much hair bleach and hair dyes. a little unhealthy.

Goodbyes

Imagine life was like Gossip Girl. having gossips about yourself in everything you do and have done, secrets being exploit out without you even knowing, losing people in your life just by the little mistakes and your own selfish decisions or even seeing your own ex boyfriends/girlfriends sleeping with your best friend. can life be that dramatic as it is shown in gossip girl?

to think of it, I do see life that way sometimes. just not that dramatic as it is. we do have gossips floating around us, ruining our life. we do have friends backstabbing us in order to fight for themselves. we also have dramatic relationship every now and then. what we do not have, will WHAT I DONT HAVE would be the money they spend, the amount of money they used just to get what they want, and sometimes even for the wrong purposes. 

its not the gossip that destroys us, its the people that does it that changes everything. to trust a person, someone whom you called as a friend, someone who you thought you could count on, ends up spreading or even playing along that vicious rumor with everyone else. it kills you to see that the person who you thought would never hurt you is the one who hurts you the most. and the best part is, when you see your friendship in a big picture to forgive what that person have done to you.

hah, im just bored now. decided to show a little appearance back on blogger :) will update soon! since i'm having my two and a half week semester break now, so plenty of time for words. and i was just high on gossip girl. been catching up on it lately, waiting for the latest one to air. i know, its a lot of drama in it but thats what its made for isnt it? better than a boring storyless movie. hah! xoxo, 

Hi hi! :) so i dont have anything much to update about. recently, college have taken up my whole life. and i barely take pictures anymore. and mostly even if i do most of them would directly uploaded to my Instagram! so do follow me up in Instagram aite? :)

Here are a few pictures taken i think around 3 months ago? when i first got to know Melanie and also Michelle :) honestly i never knew i could have click with Mel this close the first time i met here. ( i have this thing, that i find it hard to communicate with girls) but after meeting someone like her, my life have never seem better! hanging with her is like going on a vacation. I never need to think about anything else when i'm with her, we would laugh and laugh and laugh about just anything. and her LAUGH is the most hilarious thing i've heard! it would make you laugh even if nothing is funny. what more, we think almost alike about most of the things, we can relate to each other real easy.

and especially all the silly things we do together. 

she can never be any more retarded than she already is. 

thats why i love you kay Mel :) 

so much for being that day, we literally were the loudest in the library. the lady in the library had to sound us off twice and we couldnt care less :) one of the best times i had in college.